I wanted to tell you about some friends of mine. They have a story to tell and I hope one day they write a book about the journey they have had, although I am sure neither of them know quite how amazing they are!!
So 10 years ago our friends got married in a beautiful church and everything was perfect. They moved from their flat and brought their first house and grew within their careers. Everything was going so well they decided the time was right to start a family. This wasn’t as easy as expected so they went to see a specialist who said they could go on the list for IVF, but against all the odds whilst waiting she fell pregnant. A few weeks in they lost the baby and because she had managed to fall naturally she was no longer allowed IVF on the NHS, even though falling in the first place defied all odds and the chance of it happening again was very slim.
So future plans were put on hold and savings were spent to pay for the treatment themselves. It wasn’t an easy road and there were lots of ups and downs but eventually she fell pregnant again. A few weeks in and there was a bleed, rushed into hospital they were told this little fighter was hanging on in there, but she had to rest. So rest she did, but despite this there was bleed after bleed and then at just before 24 weeks her waters broke and she was taken into hospital. She was told that if labour occurred they wouldn’t revive the baby as until 24 weeks it wasn’t a viable pregnancy so they waited to see what might happen.
However this fighter was sticking around and eventually she was allowed out of hospital at around 28 weeks, at 29 weeks there was more drama and another emergency trip to hospital, but this time they couldn’t prolong this baby’s arrival and a beautiful baby boy was born.
Unfortunately this fighter had fought too long and hard already and he just wasn’t strong enough, he survived for a very short time and we weren’t able to meet this beautiful baby boy, although he will always have a special place in our hearts and never be forgotten. So what do you do when you go through this much heart break. Do you give up, do you cry yourself to sleep every night saying woes me, it’s not fair? (I think I might even if just for a while!)
Not this amazing couple, they dealt with this in the most amazing and fantastic way – they raised funds in the babies name for the hospital that helped try and save their boys life and they got back to working with children – which they both do. They carried on and grew stronger as a couple.
They looked into adoption but they decided they needed to try once more just to know they had done all they could to have a child of their own. So with much trepidation they went through IVF again. It was successful and she found herself pregnant again, only the pregnancy turned out to be ectopic and another emergency trip to the hospital followed. This time it was a pretty close call with her life and must have made them think maybe it is time to give up. But determined is another trait of this couple so another round of IVF and another pregnancy.
They were delighted and terrified all at the same time when they went for the first scan and it confirmed her pregnancy…..with twins! Obviously they can’t do anything in half measures so we were all amazed shocked and delighted for them, but there was one more cruel twist of fate. After the 12 week scan when all was OK there was a problem and they lost one of the twins, which they discovered at the next scan. Throughout all of this she was very sick with morning, noon and night sickness! Not able to work pretty much throughout her entire pregnancy, developing gestational diabetes and being seen by one specialist after another after another. Counting down every single day, 24 weeks was a big step and then 28,29,30 weeks.
Eventually in December at 38 weeks a C section was planned to deliver this baby. We all waited – I have to say it was the longest day of my life so god knows what it was like for them! We eventually heard that after a 3 hour C section due to complications a very healthy baby girl arrived into the world weighing 8lb 4oz, she was the most perfect, beautiful baby and her and mummy were doing fine!
I cannot tell you how many tears have been shed trying to do something that some people do so easily and take for granted. This wonderful couple have so much to give and they will make the best parents. They are so brave and I am so proud of how they have managed to overcome everything that has been thrown at them and their reward, well she is just too perfect for words.
I wanted to share this story as despite everything I would say they are stronger than ever and that every hurdle they met was leapt over with determination and strength that I just don’t know I would have. Her sister posted on Facebook following the birth of her niece, “some people don’t get the chance to meet their hero’s but I am so lucky to have my heroes as a sister and her husband.” I think that sums up how their friends and family feel about this amazing couple – well family now!
Please let us know if you have had a similar experience or have your own story to share, either post below or email firstname.lastname@example.org
There are some fantastic organisations and charities that can help you get through situations like this so please don’t suffer alone contact organisations such as the Samaritans http://www.samaritans.org/ or SANDS https://www.uk-sands.org/ for help.