Tough talk translated
Even with a loving partner, talking things through can be touchy – especially if something isn’t going quite right. Thankfully, We-Vibe relationship expert and psychologist, Dr. Becky Spelman has put together a guide with tips on your approach, timing and even body language! Here, she opens up about how and when to talk about even the most sensitive of issues.
Timing is everything
Choosing the right moment to raise the subject is crucial. Pick a private moment, when you know you won’t be disturbed. How you approach the topic is important too. ‘Try not to jump straight into the chat by telling your partner what he or she is doing wrong,’ Dr. Becky explains.
Body language speaks volumes. Gestures that suggest aggression or withdrawal can seriously hinder communication. Keep your body language soft and open; be aware that gesticulating wildly can come across as angry.
‘Body language plays a major role in how our words are received,’ explains Dr. Becky. ‘In a situation like this, it is important that your partner feels comfortable enough to express their feelings and be heard.’
Try sitting close together and using positive gestures as both listener and speaker – nodding, smiling and hand-holding, for example.
Keep it light
Stay relaxed throughout your talk; you don’t want to come across as lecturing or condescending. It might be better to talk things out while you’re chilled out on the sofa than at a kitchen table, further apart and with a physical barrier between you.
It may be sensitive subject matter, but don’t stiffen up. If it helps, be open about the fact that it is a hard conversation to have. ‘Avoid becoming too formal,’ advises Dr. Becky. ‘If the thought of discussing the topic brings up difficult emotions for you, it can be particularly effective to share these emotions with your partner.’ Laying all the cards on the table can help break down some emotional barriers that may be holding either of you back.
Be upfront about your feelings. If something is bothering you, you should absolutely share it with your partner! Set a constructive tone by including positive feedback and emphasizing your objective to reach a solution together.
‘You could start by acknowledging that you are a little nervous to bring this up,’ Dr. Becky suggests. ‘Then explain that you would love to work together to resolve the problem.’
About the We-Vibe brand
We-Vibe is a world leader in designing and manufacturing high-quality, body-safe, eco-friendly intimate products. The original and signature couples’ product, We-Vibe, quickly became the fastest selling sexual wellness product of its type in history. We-Vibe also offers a line of solo-use products including the Thrill by We-Vibe™, Touch by We-Vibe™ and Tango by We-Vibe™. We-Vibe products are currently available in thousands of retail locations in over 50 countries. We-Vibe is from Standard Innovation®, a Canadian company dedicated to shaping the future of sexual health and wellness.