Family is important, and they say that “blood is thicker than water.” However, it can sometimes seem as if your family, who should show their loyalties to you, don’t have your best interests at heart. Whether the trust was broken by accident or on purpose, it doesn’t matter. Rebuilding trust can be tiring and tough. Unlike friends who you can cast aside, your family ties are stronger and you will want to get through any issues that may have arisen. How do you go about reassembling your loyalties, though?
Contemplate Your Past Mistakes
You may have been the one to cause the trust issues, or it could’ve been someone else entirely. However, to move forward, everyone involved should re-evaluate their past decisions carefully and through clear eyes. Hindsight is a beautiful thing, so if you’ve come to realise that you shouldn’t have done something, or that you may have accidentally worsened the situation, you should admit your mistakes and apologise. Not only will your family appreciate it, but it could lead to further discussions and more epiphanies for the rest of the family.
Mediate the Situation
Bring in an outside party who is unbiased, and so can mediate the situation. Keep calm when discussing past events, and ensure everyone has a chance to speak their mind. You don’t want to bring in a mediator who is closer to one or the other; instead, you want to have someone who can see the issues from both sides and who is strong enough to tell you or the other person to stop talking if things get out of hand. Look for a mediator who cannot be swayed, however, also ensure your relationship with the mediator cannot be easily altered.
Get Legal Advice
Sometimes, you need a lawyer to deliberate the situation depending on the family matters and domestic relationships taking place within your family. If the situation requires legal advice, hire family law solicitors to help with family dilemmas, whether it’s marriage related or about property settlements. The sooner the matter is discussed and settled, the sooner your family can reach common ground.
Give it Time
Time can be the healer of all wounds, so if you and your family are struggling to rebuild bridges, have everybody take a few steps back for extra breathing room. This can mean not seeing each other for a month, speaking on the phone every now and then, or continuing to live your life without them for the foreseeable future. You don’t have to force yourself to sit in a room with someone you no longer trust, and by not doing so you are stopping the issues from rearing their ugly head. As time goes on, reassess the situation. If you feel okay with the thought of seeing them again, then go and pay them a visit. If not, don’t force yourself.
Make a Choice
After everything that may have gone on, it’s time to look back and consider the choices you have left. You may have hired a solicitor, mediated the situation and given it a few months, but if you’re still struggling to forgive them, you may want to choose never to see or speak to them again. This can be upsetting, but if it’s ultimately going to help your quality of life, then it’s best to cut ties with toxic family members. Alternatively, if you’ve ironed out all the creases within your family matters, then it may be time to forgive and completely forget, and move on to better times.