How do you stop a biter?

They say that a second child is often very different from the first and in my case there has never been a truer statement! As Jess gets her own little personality I am amazed and shocked that it is so different to that of her sister.

Bethany was on the whole a quiet, calm, child who was not clingy at all. She can have a tantrum with the best of them and can be a spoilt little monkey when she wants to be but on the whole she is a sweetie! Jess loves to shout, loves to cling and apparently loves to bite! She has bitten me twice, Bethany once and her dad once too! Now I remember Bethany biting once but she was told off and she cried and that was that. However with Jess you tell her off and she sort of grins at you! So you put her down and she cries at you – not because you have told her off but because she isn’t in your arms anymore. So she isn’t really learning that the biting is wrong, just it means she has to get down.

The first bite was at a children’s party so I was so shocked and in front of Bethany’s school mums so I told her off and put her down but I couldn’t make that big a deal of it in front of everyone! The second bite was at Grandma’s so again I was a little on the spot to make a big deal of it.

My nan says I should bite her back so she realises that it is painful and this will hopefully make her stop, but is a 14 month old too young to understand that I am biting her to show her it hurts and not joining in and it’s a game?

I dread being “that” mother you know the one whose child is a nightmare so you try and avoid them and never invite the child for a playdate. The one you all talk about in the playground! It worries me that people have that opinion of me – not because I usually care what anyone has to say about me but because as a parent I want my child to be lovely and popular and the child who is first on the party invites and playdate list! I want to be the mum with that darling child who is so polite and makes people smile for the right reasons.

Isn’t it strange how when it comes to me as a person I am not fussed who has what to say, but when it comes to me the mum and my girls it really matters! The thing that I find really strange is that I am bringing my two girls up the same so how can they be so different at such a young age?

Anyway I would love to hear if you have some advice on how to stop a bitter and I would love to hear from you if you have been through a  similar experience, please tell me there is light at the end of the tunnel and my child won’t be “that” child!!!!

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