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The dilemma of guilt and motherhood

Hello everyone at the Mojomums community! My name is Laura and I’m the proud mum of a five year old girl and a little boy who will turn three in December. I just relocated to the UK after living for five years in South America with my husband and I feel very excited about doing guest blogging for this great community of mums, especially because there are so many things to face settling down in a new area, that I can’t think of a better way of speaking out.

 

I’ve lived in several countries, but this is the first time moving with kids. I met my British husband in Madrid and we have been together for more than 10 years, enjoying our amazing time in Spain and now starting our new chapter in the UK.

 

Before coming here, I didn’t think that being able to work while still looking after our kids was going to be that tricky, not saying a bit complex. Seriously? On the search of after school clubs and childminders, I found out that a good amount of mums are willing to work even though they are left with little money in their pockets after paying for childcare, mainly because they don’t want to loose their jobs or because they want to keep their careers on track. Even though I thought that was incredible, I have experienced similar situations in which I’ve come across interesting career opportunities that unfortunately, and for the time being, won’t be very rewarding money wise and will give me guilty feelings about leaving our kids until 6ish with amazing carers, but not with us.

 

Did I mention guilt? That uncomfortable feeling we start having from the time we give birth to our loved ones. Can mums ever stop feeling guilty? As Fay Weldon said: “Guilt to motherhood is like grapes to wine”. Talking about that, I found a hilarious image on Pinterest about motherhood guilt. Check it out here. I’m sure it’s not difficult to identify yourself with more than one option…

 

Personally, not yoga pants and bed head at pick up as I reserve myself at least 5 minutes to put make up on (even if it’s in the car)…

 

Anyway, here I am, finding my own place after making sure the husband and kids are on track (happy at work, settled at school) and I have to admit that it has been a lot of work and sometimes I feel exhausted to start my journey in a new place.

 

While I work around my feelings and the great amount of part-time jobs, out of hours roles and flexible time positions on offer, I would like to say well done to all the incredible mums out there that not only bring up their kids, but also work and still have time for their partners and to look great. I would love to hear your comments on the matter, your experience or any advice. As I recently heard on a motivational video, “if you stick, it will click”. Thanks for reading 😊

 

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